tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6991434286485375.post5069526762375567520..comments2023-12-26T20:44:36.437-08:00Comments on SPECIAL GALLERIES ..... DARUMA MUSEUM (03): Carpet dantsuGabi Grevehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16362456518166174106noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6991434286485375.post-51374089671645654772009-06-06T15:53:58.604-07:002009-06-06T15:53:58.604-07:00Interesting that you put it this way B. I'll u...Interesting that you put it this way B. I'll use this as a measure from now on.<br />L.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6991434286485375.post-71678432568319219182009-06-06T15:53:01.253-07:002009-06-06T15:53:01.253-07:00On that first line, I feel, as I've said elsew...On that first line, I feel, as I've said elsewhere, that every word in it is working, which is why it works as a whole, in spite of its length. That said, I hink "winter" is the most expendable word of the three. while it does identify the season, this may mean more to the poet than it does to the reader, and that's usually a sign that it can go. <br />Once again, though, I like the line, and the poem, as is.<br />B.anonymoushttp://groups.yahoo.com/group/WHCworkshop/message/66163noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6991434286485375.post-84750075958123209372009-06-06T15:51:39.036-07:002009-06-06T15:51:39.036-07:00I understand where you are going, v., but there is...I understand where you are going, v., but there is such a difference<br />between morning light and say, late afternoon or early evening light, for me, distinguishing makes it more vivid... but of course, I'm not the poet!<br />D.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6991434286485375.post-37936693556057401672009-06-06T15:50:39.969-07:002009-06-06T15:50:39.969-07:00It is a very interesting reading. For the observer...It is a very interesting reading. For the observer, meditation and mind have a very puzzling almost vexing relationship. It is so well brought out by Gabi. <br />May I suggest removing even 'morning' from L1 because irrespective of the time of the day mind can behave the way depicted by Gabi. But then the<br />haiku with 'meditation' used as such have a kigo? thinking aloud<br />V.anonymoushttp://groups.yahoo.com/group/WHCworkshop/message/66161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6991434286485375.post-87503789775546471732009-06-06T04:04:06.014-07:002009-06-06T04:04:06.014-07:00threads of thought
weave designs of nature
the m...threads of thought <br />weave designs of nature <br />the mind carpets themRebbanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6991434286485375.post-79420749297582013192009-06-05T15:21:59.740-07:002009-06-05T15:21:59.740-07:00If I may jump in, it's interesting why exactly...If I may jump in, it's interesting why exactly it works so well.<br />If you think of it, you don't need "meditation" (speaking to Gabi) because the mind creeping along definitely denotes and includes meditation... however the addition of "meditation" makes the line itself creep along, so you have a parallel between not only concrete things like the winter's morning and the mind moving ploddingly, deliberately, ever so slowly, but also between the lines themselves, it is such a morning that even the words, the pattern (in the poem as well as what's happening with the rug's pattern), the cadence, all creep along in like manner. Gabi, this is excellent!<br />D.anonymoushttp://groups.yahoo.com/group/WHCworkshop/message/66150noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6991434286485375.post-87458398478814269962009-06-05T15:19:58.076-07:002009-06-05T15:19:58.076-07:00This is really fine, Gabi, and I fully agree with ...This is really fine, Gabi, and I fully agree with A.about that<br />first line: long, but every word works.<br />B.NY.anonymoushttp://groups.yahoo.com/group/WHCworkshop/message/66142noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6991434286485375.post-14050250189011018812009-06-05T05:20:18.466-07:002009-06-05T05:20:18.466-07:00I think even for people who don't meditate (as...I think even for people who don't meditate (as such) they can relate to this, because on one level any kind of mental concentration on one<br />thing can be distracted by something else? Even worse if you are trying to avoid 'mindfulness' which I believe is a mental action in its own right. ;-)<br /><br />winter morning meditation -<br />the mind crawls along<br />carpet patterns<br /><br />Gabi Greve, January 2007<br /><br /><br />Wonderful haiku, and not just visual, I really experience 'carpet<br />patterns' making me almost dizzy.<br /><br />I also feel that even though the first line is very long that it works, and gives us not only the season, but an experience of being in a cold start to the day place feeling. ;-)<br /><br />Wonderful wonderful! Just glad it's summer here or I would be<br />shivering uncontrollably right now. ..grin.. <br /><br />all my best, A.anonymoushttp://groups.yahoo.com/group/WHCworkshop/message/66136noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6991434286485375.post-54032097375039472642009-06-04T19:40:25.506-07:002009-06-04T19:40:25.506-07:00Gabi sensei,
Ooh, I like that haiku!
W.Gabi sensei,<br />Ooh, I like that haiku!<br />W.anonymoushttp://groups.yahoo.com/group/WHCworkshop/message/66130noreply@blogger.com